I have thought and thought about returning to blogging. A couple of the sticklers I wrestled with, still wrestle with, is how to protect the privacy of members of my family and rethinking my own identity. When our Shannon died almost 3 1/2 years ago I changed. I began to change over the year or so before her death as well let’s just say there was a lot of family stuff going on both before her death and since then. Some of it is shareable and some of it is definitely not my story to tell. I want very much to honor that as well as to speak my own truth and I wasn’t sure how I would I do that.
I was also not at all sure I wanted to continue to use the name Serialadopter for a couple reasons perhaps most importantly because my view of adoption in general has evolved. But, the reality is I am a serial adopter. I’ve adopted 9 people and caring for them has been the driving force in my life.
I always know I am second best because the desired scenario for any child or parent is always that they would be born into a family who planned for them, was prepared for them and even if they weren’t either planned or prepared for those parents would have the support needed to be the best parents they could be. Specifically for the majority of our children, all would be born healthy and all parents would be supported in caring for them. Why would we want anything less for the children in this world? I try to be the best second best I can be and I’m ok with knowing that.
That being said my focus will be different than it was previously. When our Shannon was still alive we knew we’d care for her until we simply could not anymore but now we are getting close to having the last of our 5 children reach adulthood. Three who are still at home will need care for the rest of their lives and we are trying to figure that all out and hopefully, eventually, what life after daily caregiving looks like. Right now it’s totally a pipe dream.
I’m also hoping to share specifically about our nearly18 year old daughter who was just officially diagnosed with autism this past year and her/our struggles with mental illness/behavioral issues and what we are trying and have tried. Which, in short, is everything. More on that later.
Again, the past 4 years have changed me in ways I never imagined. Mostly, in spite of the painfulness of it all, for the better. At least I think so.