Halfway – we’re halfway through our winter break. It’s been exhausting already. Callie has been thoroughly demanding. Today was promised to be a day at the indoor amusement park. I knew it would be unbearably busy there but there really was no getting round making a trip there at some point over break.

Most moms who have toddlers or young children are more than familiar with having a child right outside the bathroom door if not in the bathroom while you attempt to get yourself ready for the day. I’ve had toddlers or kiddos in need of my attention in my house for 38 years now. It’s getting old. I’m getting old. I’m especially getting tired.

Not only does my girl sit there staring at me. If she can get in my way or ask a question, the same question already asked and answered dozens of times, she will do that as well. I can’t quite explain, if you haven’t experienced it, what it’s like to have an adult underfoot but use your imagination and now make it a hundred times more annoying and you’re closer to how annoying it really is.

By the time we got in the car to come back home my nerves were gone but the day wasn’t even half over. On the way home I gave in to drive-through food and tried to peacefully eat my “meal” in the parking lot while she peppered me with demands. Not that song – change the station – louder – more fries – I don’t like my burger give me your chicken – change the station – can we go – give me my fries – I hate that song – etc – etc – on and on till I finally scarf my food down and drive home only to have the demands start about something else.

Now, before you at me about her demands let me remind you she has autism and lots of other issues and yes, every time she asks rudely I tell her to say please or ask nicely. Do you know how many times I’ve said that? Do you think by age 18 that’s ever going to be a skill she learns once and for all? Let me tell you as an experienced mom – no, no she’s not going to learn that once and for all. For the rest of her life someone will have to remind her to say please, ask nicely, slow down.

Another brother has to be reminded to wipe his mouth every time he eats and another to pull his pants all the way down when he pees so he doesn’t pee on himself but he still does on the regular – these skills will not ever be fully learned and eventually someone else, still hoping for that, will take over the endless reminders to do those things they will never learn and yes, I know that sounds hopeless, although I tend to consider it realistic. I’ll never be a ballet dancer or travel the world either but that’s not hopeless, just realistic. I would, however, like to take a nice trip to a beach somewhere. Someday. I really, really hope that’s truly realistic and not a hopeless dream.